Unmotivated
I found it hard to get motivated for days, and then the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, and then I found myself being stagnated and complacent.
Where had my zeal gone?
Where had the desire to succeed gone?
My fire was lost and all I wanted to do was lay in bed, watch TV, eat junk food, drink sodas and sweet tea, and hope I’d feel better from that.
But instead, I felt worse.
I didn’t have any energy and started to gain weight. I had just recently succeeded in losing about 20 pounds. And now I see myself gaining it all back.
How discouraging is that!
No will
Yet still, I had no will to fight through. Everything that I have worked so hard for, I was ready to give it all up. Even though I was blessed with spiritual parents and a spiritual family to motivate, push, and encourage me, still I wasn’t budging.
My spiritual dad made me think when he said “You could lead the horse to the water but you can’t make it drink. And Nakia you want someone to put that water in your mouth for you and help you drink it and no one’s going to do it.”
Questioning
So now I’m feeling bad and I’m feeling guilty. And now I’m feeling even worse because I thought about giving up. I’m wondering if I should still carry on in ministry, or should I carry on to be a business owner? Should I still have the desire to marry and buy my first home?
Where did all my excitement go?
Pushing Through
I went out one day to start back doing ministry. One of my favorite teams to work with was the Prophetic Ministry team.
I served on the Prophetic ministry team at my local church and it was always exciting to me. I loved to see how encouraging it was for people.
I loved to see them cry, laugh, get excited, and even move forward into the dreams and desires they have. And the dreams that align with what the Lord has for them.
Also, I loved to see that it was confirmation from the Lord for them in many different areas.
Two folded
It was joy and excitement for me when I got back to it because I hadn’t done anything in such a long while.
But on the flip side, it was like trying to drill down into these heavy thick rocks that wouldn’t move.
At times I could see nothing but darkness. And all I could get was a whole lot of words of knowledge but not much of prophecy or words of wisdom. So how fun was that?
How encouraging could I be to someone else when I was down myself?
Realization
So I thought to myself, “It’s time to get back moving, you’re the reason why you’re down because you’re not even trying to move forward. It’s not going to come to you. You have to get up and go. When are you going to decide to get up and go? “
Regardless of how much my spiritual dad Les kept pushing, pulling, trying to drive, encourage, love on, and inspire me, I had to be the one to make a decision.
What am I going to do?
And I felt something inside of me when I looked at my Dad Les and Mom Daphne and saw how much they love me and everyone for that matter and want to help us all. And it seems that no one in return wants to do anything especially me.
Shift Change
Finally, I got myself up, dusted myself off, and began to push through. I started training again. I opened my Facebook page back up. Then I opened up Tikitok and made my first TikTok post.
I started a new ministry page with a YouTube channel, and email under my ministry name. I’m ready to be out of obscurity and do some things in the earth.
My encouragement to you
If you’re struggling just as I was, I suggest that you get up and go against your emotions. Move regardless of how you feel.
Remember what you once wanted and get back to it.
Write down your dreams and desires and make a blueprint. Write out something that you can go back and look over to keep you focused on your goals and moving in the right direction.
Habakkuk 2:2
GBMV
2 And the LORD [Yahweh] answered me, and said, Record the vision, and describe it in writing, so that a runner can read it out.
Spend time with The Lord so that you can receive clear direction and a fresh word. And also for a time to be refreshed and rejuvenated.
Lastly, connect with your community or support system. Never try to do it alone. Don’t be ashamed and embarrassed to share with your trusted friends.
I pray this message blesses you as we all move forward together in the things of The Lord.
Nakia,
Thank you. I do relate to this. Time to remember the purpose and vision. Time to lay all the other things aside and just go.
Mark
Thanks Nakia. It’s a wake up call for me as well. Sometimes ago I came to place where I felt so weak unmotivated. Part of that was that everyone turned their back against me ministry , I mean even my close family members. I was running a church in the home, and it looked like everyone was not in agreement with me, and it was a nightmare for me. That made me so weak and unmotivated.
But, I decided to serve the Lord without having to rely on my close family members. I had to learn to respect their choose and move on with what the Lord wants me to do.
I am determined to press on regardless of the circumstances surrounding me. I am pressing on towards that which Christ Jesus Has sent me to do.
I encourage you to keep keep pressing on my sister.
You are such an encouragement to all of us here. Together we are one big family in the Lord. We are here to support each other in ministry.
May the Lord continue to invigorate you in your inner being, so that you are strengthened to fulfill His divine purpose in the earth.
I can relate well to what you shared. It too helped me to meet with other christians. It actually did not need much and I felt alive again. But like you shared, we need to take the steps, no one else can do that for us.
Thanks for sharing! May the fire of the Lord burns stronger than ever in you an may you see Him flowing through you like never before!
Amen Nakia, I understand this situation.
I like the scripture you shared. Write it down and set a goal.
It is great to see you getting going with a new goal also!